i just had sex bonerless
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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