she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
