Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
