Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
