But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
