the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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