i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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