Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
