We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
