do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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