He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
