If i come over, it means nothing
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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