Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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