This girl is more easily done than said...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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