Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
