Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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