she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
