I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
