Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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