Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
