he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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