so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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