You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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