Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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