I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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