Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
