I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
