she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
