so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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