Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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