I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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