Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
