I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
