tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
