white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
