I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
