How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
