meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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