Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
