to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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