i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
