on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
