he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
