just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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