I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...