Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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