I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
