Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
