i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize