ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
