Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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