I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So much Jack, so little girl.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
