I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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