best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
