Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
