Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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