I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
