First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Do vagina's smell?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
