remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
